Freddy ran home as fast as his legs could carry him.

Breathless, he crashed through the flimsy door of the shack they lived in. His father looked up. Freddy pointed at his weathered, antique Cloudspotting book.

‘A Cumulonimbus.’

‘A what?’

‘I saw one. A pure white one.’

‘What are you going on about?’

‘A cloud, Dad. A pure white cloud.’

His father paused. Then he bolted from his chair and pushed passed Freddy. Outside he scanned the dark sky, filled with the familiar black pollution. It had been years since the dirt, soot and gases had caused the clouds to darken permanently, forcing life to the brink of extinction.

He spun round and saw it, spiralling, towering upwards and at its peak, a glimpse of pure blue sky.

Freddy watched his father do a bizarre dance of delight before falling to his knees, sobbing with joy.

‘Don’t you see what this means, Freddy?’

Freddy blinked at his father.

‘That I can finally tick off the first one in my book,’ he gestured to the crumpled old pages in his hand.

His father laughed. ‘Yes, Freddy, you can.’


182-11-november-20th-2016

Written as part of Sunday Photo Fiction. Write a story of around 200 words based on the photo prompt given (above). For more details visit HERE.

To read more stories based on this week’s prompt, visit HERE.

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28 thoughts on “CLOUDSPOTTING

  1. Great story as usual Iain. What a history they must have had to be so ecstatic over seeing blue sky. I hope our world does not get that bad, although with the way things are going, it may not be too far ahead.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Very relevant and topical! Unfortunately I can see this happening very soon sometime in the near future – already a blue sky is a rarity in Delhi 😦
    On a different note, I was a bit confused at the end – who can tick? The father or Freddy? Or did I miss something?

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Freddy blinked was meant to emphasise he was puzzled by his dad’s strange reaction – he’s too young to get the significance of seeing blue sky because he’s never seen it before. Hope that comes across 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. No, I got the gist of it very loud and clear 🙂 It was just that when Freddy blinked, i presumed he didnt get what he could do and his father (?) says that “I can tick” and then again the last line his father laughs and says “Yes you can Freddy…” So I was confused if the father was speaking both times then even the father hasnt see a cumulus cloud – I wonder if I am making sense? Perhaps if you had a read at the last 2 or 3 lines, you may get an idea where I got lost. But the message is very clear not a doubt about that! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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